I So Don't Do Makeup Page 12

  “Presto!” Amber picks up. “Your hair is instantly frizzless, manageable and shiny.”

  “Incredible,” Crystal says.

  “It’s a miracle,” Amber says. “A Naked Makeup miracle.”

  “Let’s call the event Fantabulous You!” Lacey’s eyes sparkle. “And we’ll set up twenty-minute appointments and work with four customers at a time. That’s two for me and two for Amber.” Her cheeks are pink with excitement. “I have so many ideas, I’m bursting with them.” She hugs Crystal. “No wonder Riley’s wants you in Montreal.”

  Clicking her tongue and deep in thought, Amber’s staring at Junie and me.

  I so do not like the look in her eyes.

  chapter

  twenty-five

  Yay for boyfriends! Yay especially for Josh Morton! Who called me just as Amber was giving all kinds of boring chores to Junie and me so she and Lacey could get to work designing a flyer and tickets for Fantabulous You!

  “Sherry, you know how you wanted me to go to Discount Mart with you?” Josh asks in his spine-tingling golden tones. “Can you go now? My mom’s going shopping and could give us a ride.”

  “Right now?” I whine, like I’m being asked to do something responsible and boring. Meanwhile my heart’s bouncing like a rubber ball.

  “We could grab a slice of pizza and a soda for dinner there too,” he says.

  “Oh, fine, if I have to,” I continue in whining mode.

  “I thought you wanted me to help with the investigation,” Josh says.

  I turn my back to the kiosk. “I’m faking. So I don’t look too anxious to get out of the work Amber gave me,” I whisper into the phone. “I’m at the mall,” I say loudly.

  “Gotcha,” he says. “Can my mom swing by the entrance by Movie World in ten minutes?”

  “I guess,” I say, sounding all resigned.

  “Sherry, you crack me up.” He disconnects.

  I attempt to look serious and crestfallen, like maybe the call was from The Ruler, who’s ordering me home for babysitting. “Sorry. Gotta blow this pop stand.”

  Junie glares at me because I’m sticking her with Amber’s to-do list.

  I mimic texting to let her know I’ll be in touch.

  Amber looks down her nose at me. “Junie can handle getting the flyers printed, but it’ll take both of you to hand them out. Especially at your school.”

  “Uh, Amber? My cover? I’m a Jane. Those flyers are like kryptonite to me.” I shoo away imaginary poison. “Can’t go near them. Not standing in the same room as them.”

  Junie rolls her eyes.

  “Check in with us tomorrow, Sherry,” Lacey says. “We have lots to do if we’re going to pull off a successful event by Saturday.”

  “And we gotta figure out how to keep it safe,” I say.

  Lacey pales. She nods.

  I sprint to the main entrance.

  I’m barely at the curb, pinching my cheeks and biting my lips to get some color going, when Josh’s mom pulls up.

  Josh hops out so I can sit in the front. He is such a nice guy. He’s cute, he’s cool, he’s polite and he’s mine.

  “Hi, Vicki,” I say to Josh’s mom. “Thanks for picking me up.”

  “No problem.” She glances at my face. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything about my lack of makeup. Vicki’s cool that way. “Are you looking for something specific at Discount Mart?”

  “Not really.” I buckle up. “But I wouldn’t mind checking out the video games.”

  “Did you hear about the most recent study comparing video games with the violence between Los Angeles gangs?” And she’s off for the entire fifteen-minute car ride. The radio at the salon must be turned to the news all day every day, because Vicki’s always up on current events and has loads of opinions.

  Vicki leaves Josh and me at the outdoor café after telling us we have about an hour. Then she high-heel-clicks along the sidewalk, flashes her membership card and enters the store. She’s a way cool mom.

  Josh and I line up for huge slices of cheese pizza and all-you-can-drink soda. Once we’re seated, our legs crossed under the table so that our feet are entwined, I tell him about Fantabulous You! and our planning meeting. “The trick is, we gotta make sure all the makeup is okay and safe. We’re going to have to take turns keeping an eye on it.”

  “Count me in,” Josh says.

  Sigh. That’s my guy.

  “So”—a little frown crinkles his perfect-boyfriend forehead—“how are we gonna pull off this Discount Mart thing?”

  I finish chewing. “I’m not exactly sure, but we need to see how Drew treats Lacey’s packages. What if he believes her shipment is in jeopardy? That we’re there to take it. How does he react?”

  “And we’re trying not to get in trouble, right?” Josh bites into his pizza.

  “That would be good,” I say, thinking of my good-behavior pact with the Academy. “Let’s start with walking into shipping and receiving and finding Drew.”

  “And if he’s there”—Josh sips his Dr Pepper—“we’ll ask about the packages and I’ll just pick them up and start walking out.”

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s good. Be all bossy like you’re taking over the packages and we’ll see how protective he is.”

  Josh beams. He so likes to be involved and give good suggestions.

  “If he’s not there”—I poke the straw through the lid of my drink—“we’ll ask someone else about Lacey’s stuff and then at least we can see where Drew’s storing it.” I push my paper plate with its half slice of pizza across the table.

  “You sure you don’t want it?” Josh asks.

  “I’m saving room for samples,” I say.

  “Thanks.”

  Josh eats way more than me. Frighteningly more. I guess because of water polo and swim team.

  When Josh’s finished, we toss our trash. Then, hand in hand, we trek to the back of the store, visiting all the food sample tables on the way.

  “This is cool, solving a mystery together.” Josh pops a chicken dumpling in his mouth.

  I nibble, nodding. I’m loving it too.

  A bite of quiche and a tortilla chip + corn salsa later, and we’re at the back of the store.

  Josh points to an Employees Only sign. “This could be a problem.”

  “You’re tall. You could easily pass for sixteen. Even sixteen and a half.”

  He strokes his chin where he’ll probably grow a beard one of these days. “How about eighteen?”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Like my grandmother might think that. In dim light. If she’d forgotten her glasses were on top of her head instead of on her nose.

  “You don’t know this, Sherry, but I actually have acting experience. Although it’s way far back in my past.”

  “Really?”

  “It was, like, in kindergarten, but I played a pretty good Oompa-Loompa. I even got to sing the Oompa-Loompa song.”

  Yowzer. My boyfriend was a child-star Oompa-Loompa! Because he’s excellent at pretty much everything.

  Josh drops down on one knee to tie his shoelace. When he’s done, I fake pull him up. Then I give him a kiss for good luck. And then, because I have that kind of weak personality with a lack of willpower where I can’t stop at only one M&M or only one rippled potato chip, I lean into Josh for another kiss.

  “Hey, you two! What’re you doing back here?”

  Josh and I break apart.

  Yikes! This is so not the kind of ruckus we planned to make. I sniff like a dog in a new neighborhood. Phew. No Cinnabon smell. Mrs. Howard would not consider getting caught kissing at the back of Discount Mart good behavior. I sniff again. Phew. No coffee smell. I’m not up for one of my mom’s lectures about boys right now.

  “What’re you guys doin’ back here?” says a blond guy in jeans and work boots and a tight Discount Mart T-shirt that shows off his rippling muscles. He’s glaring at us with icy blue eyes. “This is a store, where families shop for diapers and vitamins and apple juice. This
is not a make-out place.” He steps closer. “How old’re you two anyway? Twelve?”

  “We are way past twelve.” I gesture to Josh with my head. “He could pass for sixteen and a half.” I sling my denim purse over my shoulder in anger. It’s embarrassing enough to get caught kissing next to the bulk toilet paper in Discount Mart. No need to insult us about our age as well.

  The guy pulls a walkie-talkie from his back pocket. “Do your parents know what you’re doing back here?”

  Ack. Eek. Ike. I do not want to be a store announcement. I peer at the name badge clipped to the pocket of his T-shirt. Drew!

  Improv time. Although I was never an Oompa-Loompa. I stick out a hand. “Actually, Drew, we were looking for you.”

  He does not take my hand. “You were making out.”

  “Well, eventually, we would’ve been looking for you,” I say.

  “Lacey sent us,” Josh says.

  Oooh. From the way he jumps into character, Josh definitely has acting in his blood.

  Drew steps back in confusion. He did not see that coming. “Lacey sent you?”

  “Yeah, to pick up her makeup shipment,” Josh says.

  Drew crosses his arms. “No way.”

  “What do you mean, ‘No way’?” I ask.

  “That makeup is my responsibility. I keep it locked up with the cigarettes and alcohol.” He yanks a cell phone from his front jeans pocket. It looks like a toy in his beefy hand. “I’m not handing anything over to anyone without Lacey’s say-so.”

  “Oh, uh, it’s okay.” I’m stumbling over my words. I never envisioned the scenario playing out this far. “We won’t take the makeup.”

  “Don’t move.” Drew pins us with his eyes, then presses the phone against his ear. “Lacey, a couple of kids are here asking for your packages.” He listens, then says to us, “What’re your names?”

  “Just tell her it’s Sherry,” I say.

  He repeats my name and listens some more. “She’s here with a guy.” He keeps on listening. Lacey is certainly chatting up a storm. “I got it. They’re good kids. And, yeah, I can keep the packages.” His voice goes all soft and mushy. “So, how are you?”

  Josh checks a text on his phone. “We gotta go. My mom’s waiting at the front of the store.”

  “Don’t move,” Drew says again.

  I hope he’s not planning to lock us up with the makeup.

  Drew snaps his phone closed. He looks at us and starts nodding. And keeps on nodding, his eyes going all misty. “Thank you for helping her.” He pounds his chest with his fist. “From here, guys.” He pounds his chest again. “I’m thanking you from here.”

  I stick out my hand. This time, he grabs it, yanking me into a bear hug and patting me on the back. Except that with his strength, a pat knocks the air out of my lungs. “We gotta go, Drew,” I gasp. “See ya around.”

  Josh reaches for Drew’s hand. “Bye, man.”

  Drew grabs Josh up in a hug too, pummels his shoulder blades a few times, then releases him.

  “Thanks, man.”

  I make it home for dessert. The Ruler and I have this unspoken agreement where she breaks some of her nutzoid health-food rules and I break some of my sugary, fatty junk-food habits, and we meet somewhere close to the middle in the land called treats.

  Tonight’s dessert is brownies. The Ruler sticks with her aluminum-free baking powder and sea salt and rice flour. But, for me, she substitutes real chocolate chips for the bitter fake-o carob chips.

  I slide into my chair at the kitchen table.

  “How was dinner at Discount Mart?” The Ruler asks.

  “Very pizza and soda.” I pull the plate of brownies over to me. “And free samples.”

  “You missed my famous grilled burgers,” my dad says, “and, uh, delicious grilled teriyaki tofu.” Of all of us, my dad’s had the toughest time adjusting to The Ruler’s healthy cooking. He’s pretty much a red-meat addict. But he keeps trying, all in the name of love and lower cholesterol.

  Family-ish chitchat ensues while I fork up bites of brownie. Sam and The Ruler have more gardening planned for the backyard. Dad bought a new CD by Céline Dion, his musical hero.

  And then I’m up to my room. I text Junie to let her know Drew’s not a makeup-business wrecker, just a very muscular lovesick puppy. So we’re down to the Janes and Wacko Will as suspects.

  I sprinkle fish flakes in the tank and gab with my bala sharks. I attack some math homework and put in time on my French-class presentation. Poor Kim will be très, très sorry she asked for separate grades. After the presentation, she’ll probably beg to be my partner for the rest of the school year.

  I’m eyeing my closet, picking out possible outfits for tomorrow. Outfits that will not point out my makeuplessness. So far, I have my jeans with bling + a hot pink T-shirt or plaid shorts + white T-shirt. I will make the final outfit decision tomorrow morning, depending on my mood.

  There’s a knock on my bedroom door.

  The door cracks and Sam pokes in his head. “Sherry, I got something for you.”

  “Cool.”

  From his shorts pocket, he pulls out a small silver picture frame and hands it to me.

  I stare at it.

  It’s a photo of me, Sam and Mom. It’s the last photo of the three of us together.

  “I bought the frame with the money I made selling plants and vegetables.”

  “Wow. Thanks.” I swallow hard. “That was really nice of you, Sam.” Little brothers. Who can figure them out? With Sam and me, the sister-brother relationship is probably a little less antagonistic than in other families. Because we lost our mother.

  “Where are you going to put the picture?” he asks.

  “I’ll keep it with me for a while. Like in my backpack.”

  “That’s what I thought you’d do.” My brother looks me straight in the eye. “Do you ever kind of feel like Mom’s still with us? Watching over us?”

  My throat tightens. I nod. “Yeah.”

  “That’s what I thought you’d say.” Sam leaves.

  I finish my homework. The house quiets down as everyone heads to bed. I’m half sitting, half lying on my bed, the light from the aquarium and the hum of the motor keeping me company. I go over the events of the past few days. There’s the weird behavior of the Janes and their upcoming demonstration. And Wacko Will, who dances around the mall dressed as a chili pepper to encourage business. Plus Drew, who seems big and scary but is very kind to Lacey.

  Chilling here all alone in the dim light of my room, I miss my mother. I miss joking around with her. I miss investigating with her. I miss discussing the case with her.

  A feeling hard like a nut lodges in my stomach. I will solve this mystery. I will be perfectly behaved. Then, when I request five minutes of Real Time, Mrs. Howard will jump to say yes. And the foreign Academy will be so wowed by me that they’ll invite me to sleuth for them with my mother. How will I get there? How will I convince The Ruler and my dad to let me go? I don’t have to figure all that out today. First, I gotta solve the makeup mystery.

  Tomorrow is Operation Break and Enter with Grandpa.

  chapter

  twenty-six

  The school day passes in a fog. It’s like when you have a fever, and you’re in your own little world and slightly out of step with everyone else.

  I’m in a mystery fog. All the pieces of the puzzle are bumping and shifting and crashing around in my brain, trying to fit together. It’s brain tectonics.

  I somehow navigate through my classes. All the way to French.

  Even though Madame Blanchard is well aware that Kim and I are not actually working as partners for our français cultural project, she still forces us to sit next to each other in class. I am sort of waving a few of my more beautiful, flamboyant pages around. Kind of flaunting it to Kim that maybe she shouldn’t have been so speedy to ask for separate grades. Her pages are all boring and typed and black and white.

  It’s practically the end of the period w
hen Kim turns her head to speak with me.

  “Look, Sherry, I probably shouldn’t say anything.” Kim zips and unzips her pencil case. “But you are dating my cousin and you did invite me to your slumber party. And I honestly don’t think you’re as mean as the rest of them think you are.”

  I have no idea what Kim is blathering on about.

  “Tomorrow, at the Janes’ meeting, they’re”—she zips and unzips faster and faster—“going to kick you out.”

  “What?” I feel my face go slack with shock. In my entire life, I’ve never been kicked out of anything.

  “You’re just too, uh, radical for us. With all your violent ideas about sabotaging Naked Makeup cosmetics. We aren’t interested in doing anything illegal like that.”

  “Oh.” I lean back in my chair and tap my fingertips together. Well, that explains why I wasn’t contacted by a Jane owning up to makeup tampering. I’m crossing the Janes off the suspect list. Which moves Will into first place. And I’m so busy mentally moving the mystery puzzle pieces around that I almost miss her next sentence.

  “Besides kicking you out, they’re planning to sort of, uh, embarrass you in front of everyone.”

  “What?”

  From her backpack, she pulls out the plastic bag full of makeup I handed in at the last meeting. Then she pulls out my school cosmetics bag, the one a Jane confiscated from me a few mornings ago. She plunks the loot on my desk.

  “The plan is to give you back your makeup.”

  “And that’s supposed to embarrass me?” I’m hugging the bags to my chest, happy to have them home.

  “Well, give it back, then force you to put some on in front of everybody.” She stands. “You and the Janes? It just wasn’t meant to be.” Kim swings her heavy black backpack over her shoulder and trudges out of the classroom.

  I slowly gather my stuff, bundling up my makeup bags and pushing them down into my denim purse. Yay for an oversized purse. I shove open the classroom door and step into the glaring Phoenix sun, shaking my head.

  Embarrass me? They thought forcing me to put on makeup would embarrass me? More like it would be an educational lesson for the Janes. Kim’s right. The Janes and I were so not meant to be.